Thursday, September 29, 2011

You Know You're A Judo Player When ...

For those of you not lucky enough to have discovered the joys of having your backside used as a mop several times a week, here is my own version of You Know You're A Judo Player When, in no particular order.

You know you're a judo player when ...

* You can accurately guess any stranger's weight within 5 pounds, even when they're wearing lots of clothing.
* You have a tendency to foot-sweep doors when you open them.
* No matter how badly you trip, you will never fall.
* If you do fall, you do so spectacularly, and you will end up on your feet while everyone around you gapes and asks if you're okay.
* Watching MMA drives you nuts because your man needs to just throw him already it's not that hard!!!
* You can sprain your ankle, limp off the mat, tape it up, and be back in fighting position in under 30 seconds.
* You never, never bounce when you walk.
* You think nothing of regularly and voluntarily placing yourself in socially compromising positions with strangers of the opposite sex. That is, until your boyfriend/best friend/grandmother comes to watch practice one day ...
* Some days you resemble a leopard because of all the fingerprint bruises you have on your body. You don't notice them, or remember how they got there.
* You have been asked by a stranger if you are in an abusive relationship, for the same reason.
* You will, always and forever, cross your bathrobe left over right and properly tie the sash.
* You've been beaten up pretty thoroughly by a really old dude at least once in your life.
* You've sprained every joint in your body at least once.
* You know what every muscle in your body does, because they've all been sore enough to let you know exactly when and how you move them, for a few days on end.
* You always have, somewhere in your house, a collection of Ace bandages, sports tape, and joint braces. And maybe even a pair of crutches. Just in case.
* You just keep coming back, no matter how old/tired/busy/out of shape you are. It's in your blood.

1 comment:

  1. This is really awesome, Kathryn! As a Judoka myself, I relate to a lot of these, and they're really cool.