The Bend In The Road

I think most of you reading this blog would have heard this already, but I did not get accepted for the Rhodes scholarship interview. It's a little bittersweet. It would have been nice to go to Oxford and get paid for it, and know what I was doing for the next few years, but on the other hand I now have all sorts of flexibility for future planning that I wouldn't have if I was going to Oxford in 11 months. I know, I know; let me enjoy it now before it sinks in a bit and the mandatory PANIC! What am I doing with my life?! sets in.

Let's make a list, shall we?

Reasons I'm bummed about not getting the scholarship:
* I won't go to Oxford next year
* I won't get paid to go to Oxford
* I won't get to retreat from the world by going to live for 3 years in the strange little universe called Oxford
* Now I have to make actual decisions about what I will do next year
* I was quite sure that if I got granted the interview, I would have been able to get the actual scholarship in the end
* I'm kind of on a roll with my research and it would be cool to keep the momentum going

Reasons I'm not as bummed as I could be:
* It's a super competitive scholarship, and the selection is totally subjective, so I know it's not a reflection on me or my abilities
* I won't have to deal with the scholarships lady at Concordia anymore
* I won't have to spend a lot of money to fly back for the interview for one day and buy appropriate clothes
* I don't have regular transatlantic flights in my immediate future
* I'm under less time pressure to get my thesis done as quickly as possible so I can have as long a break as possible before moving to England
* I don't have to move to England and deal with student visas and everything yet again
* I can take a nice long break (a year or two?) from studying
* I can pay off my student loans so that when I go back to school I'll have that extra $200-$300 a month to live on
* I can go live in the country for a while
* I can apply for a bunch of programs for next year and try to find an awesome program + awesome funding
* I can relax a little, for now
* My chances of meeting a handsome, strapping cowboy are exponentially higher just about anywhere else than Oxford =D

Feel free to add your own reasons to my list.

For now, I'm back to the grindstone. I'm trying to decide if it's worth it to dart over to the UCD library right now, in between rainstorms. I think I am too lazy. Maybe this afternoon.